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*names have been changed A version of this article was published in 2016.
Switzerland is one of the world’s best expat countries, with some of the highest living standards and a sophisticated, multilingual population.
“I advise men to pay on a first date,” says ‘flirt coach’ Thomas Peter, who runs how-to courses in flirting in Zurich or by telephone or email.
“Later on couples usually want to split the costs – especially older couples," he says, adding that surprisingly "Among young people there is still a tendency for girls to expect their date to pay.” Blending commitment and independence is expected…
“If you are only interested in sex or a one night stand, then the answer is one,” she says.
“If you would like to find a nice partner, then I suggest you date long enough to see whether your date has the qualities that you need in order to be fulfilled in a long-term relationship before you become intimate.” Flirt coach Peter agrees, saying that as long as both parties are happy, there is no Swiss-specific rule about whether you sleep together on the first date or after 20.
But as Swiss Marc* reveals, “we behave the way we do because of the numerous rejections we have received from Swiss women.” Tijmens’ top tip?
The Swiss need plenty of encouragement Search dating on any Swiss expat forum, and you find a slew of women moaning that men don’t approach them.
“And do not lie about the fact you are going on different dates.
Tell your date you have just started dating and have committed to give yourself at least three months before entering a new relationship.
Alice*, a French expat in Zurich, reveals that although her Swiss boyfriend paid on their first date, he expected costs to be split 50/50 after that.
It is not a question of being stingy, however; it is about equality.